is it possible to just do nothing about something? oh wait, some people are pressuring me to do things that feels so unimportant and usless to me and yet they make it so big of a deal.. it seems some other people are trying to run my life and believe its better, they don't even know me, they just want things to go according to them, without understanding how the people they drag along feels..

whatever i do, whichever decision i make, it's a lose-lose situation.. if i choose this, i end up happy, temporarily.. and he does too.. and when that temporary is over, it's like judgment day all-over again.. if i choose that, we both hate each other's gut for me making the "wrong" decision, and who knows what awaits since i haven't made that decision before..

it's so hard for me, to choose either and still feel bad whichever path i choose.. isn't there a path that won't hurt anyone and is a good decision? it's always only two choices and i end up hurting someone or myself or even both..
sometimes i just wanna scream or runaway but i think i already did that once and it only went to worse..

can't some people just go along with my decisions and don't make it any more harder than the way i can't breath with my decisions that also makes me feel bad but will bring something better (ok, long sentence!)??? it's like playing hangman, only there's no correct letter, each letter you choose, the rope tightens around my neck and later on, dead..